After a
restless sleep she gave up. The sun rays crept through the curtain. She stood
up; eyes still shut and tried to find her slippers with the help of her feet.
The clock showed 5:30 and she thought of going for the fajr prayer. Since her
childhood she was made to pray five times a day regularly. Even now with her
busy schedule she always used to find a time to thanks Al-mighty for his
blessing and love.
The
water was cold at first and a shivery feeling went through her body. Instantly
she remembered what her nana use to say “God loves the prayers of youth”. The
desire of being dear and near to the creator of the world is a trait that ran
in her family. “ALLAH-O-AKBAR” and she raised her hands in the greatness
of ALLAH. Her eyes were filled with water and throughout the prayer a string of
tears crawled down her cheeks. It felt like a deep chunk of heart was missing.
Their
father was a teacher with modest and patriotic belief and their mother was a
simple house wife with old and vintage philosophy. No one in their family tree
belonged to defense force. She was strongest one in the family, stronger then
her young brother and when she joined the army his father was swollen with
pride. She was followed by her brother and soon the family had their progeny serving
for the nation.
But
today she moaned because of a sacrifice, like one of her hand was slashed away.
The pain and the ache she had came flooding out like lava that was obstructed
from a billion years deep inside the core of her heart. They were trained to
stay put and emotionless. But in front of Supreme Being she lost all her
confidence and wept, like a baby from whom her favorite toy has been taken
away.
On the
dinner table the breakfast was arranged properly. 10 years before she would
have made the breakfast and arranged the table herself but after being deployed
to Malakand division she and her brother along with their parents were living
in a fully restored house with servants and care takers. Her mother was not
used to be taken care of and hated her house being under some strangers but her
father soothed her by telling her that its time that she should relax and let
her children take the charge. Behind all her anger she was at joy seeing her
kids accomplished and merrily she left the world one day while sleeping. Her
father couldn’t pull off after the tragedy and after a year he too passed away
leaving his kids orphan.
Her
brother was the only family she had and when he left for the anti-terrorist
field operations the home turned into a house.
Where there
is happiness eventually the shadows of darkness would take its place. The wind
turned its track and their country was undertaken by vicious and evil spirits.
Her
thoughts were disturbed by honking of a car and suddenly she was back to
reality. In a rush she stood up, taking a sip of cold tea and dashed to the
main door. Sher khan stood straight holding the door of the car opened for her
and she slipped inside.
Enormous
black gates unbolt and a white elegant building emerged in front of her eyes.
She was mesmerized by the architecture of the building from the very first day
when her eyes met the structure. The Immense building belonged to the secret
defense agency of Pakistan.
The
white corridor looked novel to her, as she never had put a step there ever.
Everyone that crossed her was looking at her in astound. “What is it? “
She thought. Hastily she went to her office.
All her
questions were answered when she walked to her desk. The newspaper had a front
page photo of her brother. The headlined read “Martyr of the mother nation” and
paper fell on the floor right out of her hands. So that is why everyone was
looking at her. They all were amazed at her bravery and strength. That’s the
reason she was feeling so low and she cried. That was the explanation to her
sleepless night. The smell of fresh earth, soft music of national anthem
playing, solid footsteps of the soldiers marching and discharge of the 21
arsenals facing the gray sky, all the memories of yesterday came flooding back.
A wooden coffin covered with the green and white flag was being held up high on
the shoulders, they lowered him down in the open grave and she went down on her
knees as if they had turned into jelly. All of sudden the brightly lit room was
shrinking and there seemed no oxygen to breathe. Cold and bitter feelings ran
inside her and she had this abrupt emotion of being left alone in a world full
of aliens.
Unexpectedly
her legs carried her out of the office. In a minute she had crossed the
corridor where her fellows stood watching her in bewilderment. Her car was
right where it should be and she opened the car with her spare keys and drove
madly out of the building, all she knew was to get out from these unpredictable
emotions she was having.
It was
raining heavy, puddle splashed mud all over her shoes when she climbed out of
her car. How she got here she couldn’t remember. But these graves looked
friendly to her. Even though it was chilly outside but the warmth of her being
near to her family made everything not worth it.
It took
only a day and she went exposed, nothing was there for her in this globe. She
cried her heart out in front of her mother’s grave, and the trees bent their
heads in her sorrow. All what was left in this world for her was her country
and her creator
